THE UK 2007
LOCAL AND REGIONAL ELECTIONS
MAY
4th 2007
The last thing I
would want to do is decry the efforts of those who wish to take part in
local government. The quality of life in the islands always depends to
a considerable extent on the intelligence, honesty and head work of
those who deal with the issues that affect our communities in their
immediate surroundings. For this reason it is quite right that local
councillors and their election is independent from elections to
parliaments, whether Westminster or Scotland. Nevertheless councillors
stand on a party ticket, so it is up to the electorate to organise
their choice with a bit of good sense. The SNP complicates the issue in
that it was formed and exists in order to break up the UK. That is a
poor idea from many reasons and it is extremely unlikely to happen in
anyone living's lifetime. If Salmond pushes it he will lose. Only 16%
of the elegible electorate voted for the SNP and we are reliably
informed that many of those would never vote for independence. Salmond
is not to be taken seriously on that score.
On the other
hand we have a situation now where the electorate has not the slightest
idea if the Liberal Democrats, the SNP, Plaid Cymru or even the Tories
have any ideas or any capability when it comes to running the country
as a whole. It is hardly surprising that between them these parties can
pick up many more votes than Labour, given that on the major national
issues none of them have even had the chance to make a mistake. They
are blameless, because over the past 12 years they have done absolutely
nothing to affect national policy other than vote against most of the
measures that we know were necessary and in some cases obstruct them,
while failing to pre-empt or mitigate those mistakes that the Labour
government must hold its hand up to. Be that as it may, it is always
good to give new teams experience and a crack of the whip. That may
include the SNP.
The only
Westminster party to vote for leaving Saddam in power was the Lib Dems
and it seems to have done them a fat lot of good electorally. The swing
to the Conservatives in local government was likely a tribute to some
good work done by Tory councillors or some local gripes against Labour
non-delivery. But I can't for the life of me see David Cameron winning
a general election when from day to day he seems to exhibit little
understanding of major issues other than those on which he agrees with
Labour.
Of rather more interest than the above was the number of electors whose
intelligence or literacy (it could presumably be either or both) was so
inadequate that they were unable to fill in the voting forms correctly.
This seems a satisfactory method of ensuring that there is at least a
very minimal intelligence and education test before individuals are
allowed to participate in choosing who runs the country. It may not
have affected the result, but an examination of the attempted votes may
tell us that. From what I have seen of the forms they do seem very
clear, but the spoiled papers tended to nullify the advantage of the
computerised counting system. I see from the newspapers today that the
sperm-donor business is booming in spite of the change in the law so
that the unfortunate progeny can find out the cause of their arrival on
this planet, and that for some period there was a single donor
responsible for the whole of Scotland. By the time a few generations
have inbred by marrying their own brothers and sisters no doubt the
rather particular personality traits and genetic illnesses will have
further reduced those capable of voting by any system at all. It always
struck me that anyone who was a sperm donor must have a level of
insensitivity and an incomprehension of the nature of humanity that
renders them highly unsuitable as healthy breeding stock, let alone
fathering hundreds. A sort of parallel that led Douglas Adams to the
opinion that anyone with ambitions to be president or prime minister or
ruler of the galaxy should automatically be disqualified.
Actually, Adam's hypothesis is much less reasonable. A good amount of
intent and application is necessary. The sperm donor is just a
thoughtless, conceited wanker.